Ragamuffin
Recently I watched a movie called "Ragamuffin," about a man and musician, Rich Mullins, and his faith journey. This is not a "feel good" story, or for the faint of heart. It's even painful to watch at times. For those of you readers who are followers of Christ and Christian music in the 90s, you may be familiar with Mullins and his anthem, "Awesome God." Or you may think you knew him. After seeing the movie, I realized that I didn't know him at all. None of us escapes this life without baggage and Mullins was no exception. I didn't know about his (at times, heavy) drinking, smoking, anger and deep hurt resulting from an almost suffocating sense of rejection from his father. A complex man who loved God deeply, yet struggled even moreso with the concept of God loving him with his very human flaws and brokenness. A story that many of us have in common, and that eats away at us because we believe deep down that God is disappointed in us, that He couldn't love us when we are so doubtful and distrusting of His love.
Non-believers often label Christ-followers as "hypocrites" because we proclaim a truth that we don't live up to as we "should." A hypocrite, by definition, is one who knowingly says they believes one thing, lives another way and then judges or condemns others for sins that s/he her/himself commits. Jesus was never harder on those (most often the religious elite) but not on ordinary believers who tried but failed, even time and again, like Peter. Mullins, however, doesn't qualify as a hypocrite by that definition. In fact, as is told in his story, he was always up front about being who he was, covering up nothing.
While never married, (his song, "Doubly Good to You," recorded by artist Amy Grant, was written by Mullins for the wedding he anticipated but never materialized), Mullins had several close friends. One of them was an older man, former Catholic priest, recovered alcoholic and prolific author, Brennan Manning. Manning made himself available, having understood some of Mullins' struggles, and assigned him, at one point, to write a letter to himself from his father (who had passed away by that time). It took a lot out of Mullins to write it, but seemed to signal a turning point in his understanding of both his father and himself, bringing a measure of peace.
Why the "Ragamuffin" title, you ask? What is a ragamuffin? It is a rather old-fashioned (several centuries old) word that usually connotes the idea of a dirty and lowly street urchin, but Manning's definition includes one who thinks little about self, knows his/her own brokenness and humbly comes to Christ, expecting nothing but grace for the day's troubles. It was a definition that took root in Mullins' heart, so much so that he named his band, The Ragamuffin Band.
One of the film's "extras" on the dvd is a conversation with Mullins' brother, David Mullins. He points out that in the planning of the script, the decision was made to leave in all of Rich's foibles and failings, rather than "cleaning" them up to make him look more pious. They decided that since God did not cover up to spare the reputations of those He called to serve Him that are recorded in the Bible, neither would they cover up those of brother Rich.
God isn't interested in perfect people, but rather those who fail but keep getting up and whose hearts are genuinely following after Christ. By this definition, Mullins succeeded wildly and this should give the rest of us hope. And what is more needed today than hope, in an otherwise often hope-less world? It is the beauty of the Good News (which is the meaning of "Gospel") that it was Jesus who took care of our sins on the cross - taking our place - and when we believe and accept that sacrifice on our behalf, we enter into a relationship with Him not based on a set of rules that allows us - as prodigal children - to do what the book of Hebrews declares: to "come boldly before the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Heb. 4:16, NIV).
Let me end this post with the lyrics of a couple of verses of one of Mullins' most compelling songs, The Love of God.
The Love of God
(based on Eph. 3:14-21 & Rom. 8:18-39)
There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been
caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
(verse 3)
Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
